How To Overcome The Fear of Getting Started

5 dead-simple steps to gain the confidence to start hard, meaningful goals.

I used to struggle to speak like a normal human.

The blue light-emitting screen hypnotized my mind – spiking dopamine like taking 400 mg of caffeine.

Video games and social media were like demons toying with my biggest weaknesses.

No one told me that this path would lead to loneliness, misery, and worst of all:

Mediocrity.

In grade school, I seemed like a normal kid.

I loved sports, girls, video games (a little too much), and my STEM classes.

But then I started to cave.

I started to socialize less and stick to my screens more.

Eventually, I ended up addicted.

For years, I missed out on opportunities because I was too comfortable.

I was afraid of starting anything worthwhile.

Self-sabotage kills more dreams than cancer

Self-sabotage - your fear of starting

Recently, I’ve spoken with many people who want to improve yet they have this nagging fear of getting started.

They seem to know exactly what to do but they can’t seem to muster up enough courage, willpower, or discipline to get it done.

I get it.

This was me back then.

Frustrated, overanalyzing the optimal way to:

  • Start a YouTube channel

  • Write this blog you’re reading

  • Train at the gym a few years back

Something was missing. Something that didn’t quite click in my brain to start and see what happens.

Me: “What could go wrong?”

My ego: “Everything.”

My journey from mediocrity to mastery – a short glimpse

In 2013, I was afraid of the gym because there were plenty of other people bigger and stronger than me.

My irrational thought: “Who the f*ck am I to be in the presence of giants?!”

To add fuel to the fire, I got dumped in a relationship.

My confidence was at an all-time low.

But then I had a spark of change…

3 years later, I:

  • Built 35 lbs of muscle

  • Gained a ton of confidence to ask out my future wife

  • Started posting my untethered ideas seriously

Along the way, I watched a ton of YouTube fitness content.

Fitness Influencers seemed to have their lives figured out. They impact thousands of people learning to get in shape. Not to mention making money online.

I wanted that.

But the fear of putting myself out there kept me complacent, overanalyzing every goddamn step.

I put out a few videos but they were cringe and ended up taking them down, never to return until…

Another spark of change.

In 2022, I published my first official YouTube Video and wrote a blog article.

I made my first dollar online and continue to earn more income each year.

Let me be the first to say, I was afraid.

I was the one person you would’ve never imagined to make it this far.

A socially anxious momma’s boy who couldn’t even wash his own clothes his first year in college.

Yeah, it was that bad.

So how the hell could I accomplish what many others struggle with for a lifetime?

You need to overcome your fear of starting.

Ironically enough, the only way to overcome fear is to develop confidence.

And if you lack confidence, the secret is to get started.

Let me explain.

Maybe you’re:

  • Overanalyzing your content strategy like I did.

  • Not confident in speaking with people like I was.

  • You’re overthinking what to write in your newsletter (like I still do).

Here are five strategies to help overcome your fear of starting:

This will apply to any goal. Let’s dive in.

1) Forget the fear, face the facts

F.E.A.R. is False Evidence Appearing Real – irrational thoughts your mind has to protect your ego from danger.

But these days we’re not running from lions, hunting for our next meal, or fighting to stay in our tribe.

So how do we create the beliefs that we need to succeed?

Educate and increase your self-awareness.

Having just enough knowledge will break your mental barriers.

But you need to avoid this common mistake…

When I didn’t know how to exercise, I looked to YouTube for just enough information to start.

I write daily in my journal so that I can see my thoughts objectively. This helps me realize I need to get out of my own way.

Overcome it by understanding what's going on in your mind.

Remember:

You don’t need to be great to start, but you need to start to be great.

2) Having a big enough why

Your conviction to improve has to surpass your fear and doubts of complete failure.

When that relationship in 2013 ended, I was in a huge downward spiral.

I thought to myself:

“I could stay depressed forever or do something about it and avoid this twisting knot in my gut.”

My new purpose was to never be weak and small again.

Pain is a hell of a motivator.

Surface-level goals are not enough to keep you going in the long term. They get you excited but quickly fizzle out.

What is it that will keep you going despite the hardships?

Reflect on your purpose and understand why you're pursuing that goal and it will keep you in the game longer.

3) Clarity creates confidence

Any plan is better than not having one.

A minimal outline will reduce friction. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it has to get you going.

To get confident on video, I took a 30-day challenge.

I recorded myself daily using a question prompt to give me direction.

30-day challenges work. Bonus points if you can get other people to join you or work with a coach.

Form a plan.

Don't fight with decision fatigue. Thinking on the spot will burn you out.

4) Small and sustainable wins

 It's too easy to try doing everything at once.

I used to think endlessly about gaining the most amount of skills in the least amount of time.

Big mistake. Before you optimize, initialize.

Get started, gain consistency, and confidence that you can show up.

Repeat the skill, then you can start refining that approach and getting good.

5) Reflect, refine, repeat

You can’t achieve mastery without momentum.

You can’t achieve momentum without moments.

Make those moments meaningful.

Once you’ve established a backlog of small wins you can start to scale the signals.

Ask:

  • What worked well?

  • What didn’t?

  • How could you improve?

i.e. for camera confidence, let’s say you’ve been doing 1-minute videos. Maybe in the next 30 days, you want to add another minute.

Keep going until it becomes second nature.

Soon, you will be ahead of 99% of people in 6-12 months in your domain.

TL;DR

5 strategies to help overcome your fear of starting

1) Forget the fear, face the facts

2) Having a big enough why

3) Clarity creates confidence

4) Small and sustainable wins

5)  Reflect, refine, repeat

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See you next week!

P.S. I’m offering help with your personal and business systems.

If you’d like some help setting up routines, book a call with me and we will make a sustainable plan together.

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